My darling Chris I am struggling here on my own without you in my life. We were so close and I talk to you each night when I go to bed. I know you are listening because so many times you have answered my questions. I cry so much, but I try to keep a smile on my face for other people. The counsellor I am going to at Linden House tells me I am being too hard on myself. I miss you so much but I hope you are at peace.We shared so much together and I long for you to put your arms around me and kiss me. I hadn't realised that Clare was keeping up her conversations with you and I feel guilty that I haven't been writing down my feelings. I have cried bucket loads just reading her messages. I will try to talk more to you. I can't seem to feel your presence at the cemetery but I know your spirit is still here at home with me.I love you more each day and life gets harder to deal with now you are not here with me xxxxxxxxx